Motherhood

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What motherhood means to me. Sounds like an easy question, but it's actually more complicated than it sounds. On the other hand, it's simple. Motherhood is about love and limits. Love is unconditional, and the limits are for discipline.

I remember a story that my mother told me long time ago. It's something about motherhood. She said there's a term for when you lost your parents, when someone lost a spouse, but there isn't a word for when a mother lost her child. It's because motherhood does not stop at the death of the child. Once a mother, a mother you will always be.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I have this nightmare about going shopping at Express, a clothing store. There are many sales on many different styles of outfits. I bought a lot of stuff. Then two days later, I realized I've forgotten my child in the store. I would wake up screaming my head off. After my first child was born, I never go to Express with her, at any time. I’m superstitious enough for that. What I hadn't realized that being a mother means it's impossible to forget about your child.

When my second child was born, it was just a little hectic. I have a newborn and a 15-month old child. A month after the second baby was born; he started having severe skin reactions to many things. I did not know over a year would pass before we'd find out his allergic reactions to many things. I would hold him, my second baby, scared because his eczema is bad enough for his skin to peel off. I was afraid that he will not live long enough to see his first birthday. I knew that being a mother means facing my biggest fears, and not giving up.

Being a mother means that my arms might get numb from holding, but it's alright. I can sit down and hold my babies in my lap. I understood that being a mother is holding them tight enough so that even when I am asleep, my babies doesn't fall, but loose enough so my babies can breath.

After having five children, I realized there are still many things I need to learn about being a mother. I also now know that there is no such thing as having enough hugs and attention and saying 'I love yous.' These things are free; it will only cost me time.